Dear Ones:
A quote came across FB this morning: People can inspire you or drain you. Pick wisely. It was juxtaposed against the picture of a tree. While it was a rather simplistic tree representation I immediately saw it as a fruit bearing tree, my mind going to the analogy of picking something.
Trees are a central theme in my life. One only hss to look at the homepage of this website to realize that. I decided on the land that Hashem’s House International and my home stand on by virtue of coming past the two sentinel live oaks that stand guard over the water crossing as you turn into our development. They are impressive and close to 300 years old. I know how precious they are. This year we lost eight (8) magnificent live oaks at the front of Hashem’s House due to the drought here in Texas. It broke my heart to have the dead trees removed, some of them over 200 years old!
There is a lovely tree of life wood burned onto the cabinet door of the Aron Kodesh (Torah cabinet) in the synagogue. There is a huge carved wooden sign at the head of Westview Trail proclaiming the beginning of our development aptly named, Goldenwood West. There is an ancient native Indian woman who lives close who has told me that this land is very spiritual, old Indian land. Some nights, sitting on the back porch in my rocking chair, watching the heavenly sunset, I can sense the whispers of spirits that were once humans who roamed the hills and forests where I live. Sometimes, when I have been fortunate enough to actually make eye-contact with the alpha buck of our deer herd, I have seen the historical connection to the land, the spirits, the trees.
So when the quote and the representational picture of the tree came across my visual path there’s was a real connection. I have been sitting here at the Saturn dealership as The Great Orange Pumpkin gets serviced. I have been mulling over the quote. I realize, in this moment, that I am living in a paradox. I haven’t always picked wisely. Sometimes I have allowed people into my life who have drained me, disappointed me, even hurt me in real ways. And still I rarely turn anyone away. And often I allow people to stay long after I should have let go. And removing anyone from my space has always been difficult for me regardless of their behavior. The quote struck me as profound and something I might do well to pay attention to.
There was another quote this morning that read, “what you allow continues”, so in essence, if I allow someone to drain my energy they will continue to do so. And the paradox lies in assigning some sort of qualitative evaluation to the “drain”. I also read this morning that “without darkness there could be so stars”. So perhaps, if I have allowed the darkness of a person draining me to stay, just perhaps that was the darkness that allowed the stars. I don’t know for sure, but, doesn’t my choice to be a rabbi, a minister, a cleric, doesn’t that preclude that there will be those who drain? They too, through their darkness, have added the brightness of starlight to my life.
I am not offering anything definitive here. I have no answers. I offer few solutions. I know that even the “drains” are part of my path, which is not always smooth. I guess, in the end, the only thing I can really do is accept all of it, bless all of it and then let all of it go.
With many blessings and very great love for all of us,
Rebba Raine
with very special and heartfelt appreciation for my daughter Davide’s ability to listen, quietly and wisely.
