Dear Ones:
A couple of months ago, before I left for Ireland, someone I had known and trusted for many years, accused me of making things up. I was disappointed in this person who is no longer in my “circle” and now I realize my disappointment had to do more with the sadness over her lack of faith then with anything I might have or have not done. I guess one could say, she was transferring her feelings about self onto me rather than dealing with her own stuff. I don’t have to make stuff up for attention or manipulation or any other reason. All I have to do is get up in the morning, put my two feet on the floor and get going. Hashem takes care of the rest.
My life is always miraculous, although sometimes my miracles happen after some real challenging moments. Take this morning for instance. I had decided to pick up S. Michael at his house, drive over to Davide’s house and pick her up and then go to the Farmer’s Market over at Mueller Airpark and then out E. 290 to the Budweiser Brewery where the Clydesdales were on display. They had been at the Formula 1 track yesterday for the Australian races. The pictures that Davide’s friend sent on FB from there were just too good to walk away from.
The Farmer’s Market wasn’t even open. But that was ok. And I had picked up bagels and coffee and ice tea at Wholy Bagel down on William Cannon for everyone so we didn’t really need anything. We took a leisurely drive out to the Brewery. There’s so much building and expansion going on that way that it was an interesting trip. And we found the Brewery without any trouble.
I don’t know how many of you have seen these Clydesdale horses up close but they are huge and beautiful and fascinating to watch. Plus, the only other folks there, as it was just after 9:30 am were the handlers and a group of young mothers with their children. The horses were in a tent, in individual stalls, right there in the parking lot. There were 10 of them. And the dalmatian who sits on the beer wagon the horses pull was just running around loose. He was quite friendly.
All of the horses were stallions, each one more magnificent than the other. They appear to be gentle giants. And they are beautifully groomed. I don’t know which I enjoyed more, the horses, the children watching the horses, or my own adult children watching the horses and taking pictures with their cameras. I had a lovely time.
When it was time to go we all got back into the car and headed back towards Austin. Davide is now pregnant and she said she’d like some brunch so we debated where to go and found out she had never been to Star Seeds over by the Fiesta Market, off I 35 N. I found it hard to believe she didn’t know about Star Seeds. S. Michael and I had been going there for years. In the early years, back in the 80’s you could find Willy Nelson and his friends there, in the morning, having breakfast after an all-night-er. I haven’t been there in years and it felt so homey and comfortable. We had a lovely brunch together and I paid the check and we walked out to the car. I thought I had thrown my wallet over my seat into the back. I didn’t give it another thought until I got home about an hour later and was getting out of the car. I couldn’t find my wallet. I became pretty frantic. A) I have been experiencing some challenges, in the aftermath of the last accident, with numbness in my hands, arms, legs. B) all my credit cards and an unusual amount of cash were in the wallet. I had just settled my accident case. I am in the process of paying bills. While there were no checks in my wallet from my accounts all my ATM cards are there. And my credit cards. And my insurance cards. And, just to make matters even worse, Ian had just sent me his college loan payment check and that was there ready to be deposited. I was so nervous about being late to pick up the children that I hadn’t stopped at the bank, just for coffee.
I ripped my car and all the bags apart. I called both children and asked them to check their driveways and any bags they had taken from the car. I came in and sat in my recliner and cried. Then I reached for my prayer beads, took them, closed my eyes and prayed. All I could think of was someone getting to my insurance settlement funds before I had a chance to use them to pay bills AND to put my share into a four-book deal with Balboa Press that goes down at 9:30 tomorrow morning. I was truly besides myself. BUT, as I sat, eyes closed, and started to talk to Hashem, I felt the tension lift. I felt the tears stop. I felt my breathing return to normal. I KNEW all was well in my soul, in my world, with my Hashem.
It wasn’t until I opened my eyes that I saw the blinking light on my land line phone. I reached for it and saw a number I didn’t recognize. The name, Leonard Heywood, was also a name I didn’t recognize. I KNEW. I knew it was the man who had found my wallet. I had already called the Star Seeds and they looked out in the parking lot and in the booth we sat in. No wallet. I knew this was the answer to my prayers.
I called the number and said to the voice who answered, “this is Rabbi Raine. You have my wallet don’t you.” The message Leonard had left simply said, “please call me, I have something you need.” Leonard answered, “yes.” And then we made plans to meet near Zilker Park in the parking lot of Uncle Billy’s Brew and Que. It was the only restaurant I could think of on that stretch of Barton Springs Road before you come to the park. Leonard said that’s were he and his girlfriend were headed next. I described myself and my car. I blessed him and thanked him profusely. I said, “did you find the two $100.00 bills in the secret compartment.” When he answered that he had I said I wanted him to have one of them. And then we hung up after exchanging cell phone numbers.
We met in the parking lot, recognizing each other and falling into each other’s arms. He is a young black man with long dreadlocks. I am an older white woman, not too great on my feet since the last accident and I am sure we made an unusual couple standing there in the parking lot just holding onto each other and hugging while his girlfriend looked on and smiled.
He said he had called the credit card company and they had given him my home phone number after he explained what had happened. He said he stepped on the wallet as he got out of his car at Star Seeds. They had stayed at the motel next door. They are from Dallas. We talked. He said he was a musician visiting for the weekend. He and his friend were working on a healing project and it wasn’t going anywhere and his friend is dying and he really wants this project to come to fruition before she dies.
I spoke of faith, about my work with what can only be described as Rebbe Yeshuah’s homies. We laughed at that but then I told him about my book deal and why it was so important for me to have my ATM card as the final meeting is tomorrow morning. I told him I have been working on publishing since the late 80s and that things were finally happening. Again I talked about faith.
He had begun to cry. I asked, “Leonard, where are these tears coming from?” He said he had lost his faith, he was convinced it would never happen for him and his friend. His girlfriend was also in tears. So there we stood, me cradling him in my arms as though he were one of my own children, holding his girlfriend’s hand as well. We must have looked very strange to the folks having brunch on Billy’s patio. At that moment we were the only people in the world, holding on to each other and Hashem.
I could feel the tension break. I could almost feel some of my faith entering into him. I could see it on his face. All was well with my soul and my world.
We exchanged information. I handed him one of the folded $100. dollar bills. We were both grateful. Much had been given. Much had been received.
Baruch Hashem. I don’t have to make stories up. I just get out of bed in the morning and let Hashem lead the way. That morning in London, when the truck hit me and I didn’t die, I gave my life to Hashem. I have never looked back. Hashem is writing the story and what a glorious story it is! I guess one might call me a “born again Jew” and one very, very blessed woman.
Baruch Hashem. With many blessings and very great love for all of us. Pray for my friend Leonard Heywood. May the angels take his musical healing project and lift it up into the heavens. May we all share in Leonard’s musical talents, his friend’s journey back to Hashem and the Healing thereof.
Rebba Raine
